I have done my best to analyze the insane thoughts and irrational acts of Liberals and have come to the conclusion that they are all suffering from some form of idiopathic brain damage which may have occurred at the moment of conception. They felt rejected when ejected and bear an odd similarity to the instrument from which they were propelled. Feeling alone and abandoned by their "cannoneer", and having had to compete with so many others vying to join the massive Easter egg hunt, they became morose, depressed and developed a phallic determination to get even.
Floating around in a sac of fluid for nine months is what undoubtedly led to their fear of reality and of someone adding too much water to their whiskey. Instinctively, they knew that sooner or later they were gonna get out of what they thought was a "hell hole". Little did they realize that this attitude would change radically soon enough!
Another thing that annoyed them was the constant practice of having some other damned dick jammed in their faces more often than they cared for. "What the hell is going on? Is this prick trying to put a head on me? Well, thank you very much, I already have my own head and I plan to grow up being a bigger prick than you are anyway!"
A Liberal's birth trauma knew no bounds. On the one hand he/she was happy to be "out", but unfortunately, they STILL have yet to see the light-of-day. The journey they took to get to the outside world probably gave them an early understanding of what "greasing the skids" meant. To add insult to injury, the first contact they had with these enormous creatures resulted in their getting their asses whipped; a delight that others would enjoy more than once when these aliens grew up.
These paradoxical offshoots soon learned the pleasures of suckling at the free fountain of sustenance, thus giving them hope and courage to provide this gratuity to one and all once physically grown, able to read and write and talk in riddles; as in, "The answer to your riddle may well lie within the question". Whaaat?
And so it was. And there you have it. Regrettably ….